Here’s the thing.
Sometimes posts on this blog are very negative. It’s the nature of divorce. Yesterday’s post and the one earlier in the week were probably the most negative posts I’ve ever written. That’s not to say everything is negative though, and I wanted to redress the balance.
To show that out of despair can come hope. That for those going through or starting down this path that it isn’t all bad.
So to do that I’m going to tell you about a few of the good things.
I have a son. He’s six years old, almost 7, and truly believes that he can do anything and everything. He’s absolutely amazing, and the absolute apple of my eye. He has the innate capacity to make the whole world laugh, or to make me want to pull my remaining hair out in handfuls.
He’s obstinate, stubborn, single-minded, and wilful. He’s also got the most infectious laugh, understands the subtleties of humour and sarcasm, and has recently developed a love of music. He has all the makings of a superb rugby player but can be distracted by a passing butterfly. He, like me, believes that people are fundamentally good, and that evil only exists in books about dragons and giants.
I’d give my life for him, and not a day goes by where I don’t miss him terribly, or wish that he’d never learnt to talk, all in equal measure 😉
My daughter was quite obviously sent to pay me back for all my ex-girlfriends, for my mis-spent youth, and for my belief that children should be set firm guidelines. She’s only 3 years old but already she can melt my heart with a glance and twist me round her little finger within a heartbeat. She’s beautiful, and lovely, has a laugh like a hooker, and thinks about everything before she acts.
She has a mean right hook, and an even harder headbutt, but I’d give everything I’ve ever owned for a cuddle and a kiss from her. She’s amazing, and as each day passes and I watch her grow I fall more and more in love with her. She has no fear, but retains an air of caution, and will stand her ground against any and all comers.
She can talk now, and sing, and even dance, and one of these days she’s going to marry someone and boss him around like she does with me. I can’t wait. I’ll walk her down that aisle and I’ll kiss her goodbye, and then I’ll shake his hand and wish him the very best of luck. He’ll need it 🙂
I love her more than life itself.
I’m not going to name them but let me tell you this. When the sh*t hits the fan you find out who your friends are very very quickly. Quite often they’re the unexpected ones. They’re people who you never knew cared. Others though have been friends for years and they take this opportunity to stand up next to you, shoulder to shoulder, and they take the heat, they cloak you in their shields and they protect you from as much as they can.
I have good friends. I have great friends. I have friends without whom I would never have lasted this long. They’ve made me tea and coffee, the’ve covered my car payments and lent me money, they’ve bought and cooked me dinners, they’ve taken me away, they’ve been there in the darkest hours. Some have done all of that despite the turmoil in their own lives.
And that’s a debt that can never be repaid.
Life goes on. Think happy thoughts.